5 Reasons Why You Should Quit Your Day Job

Maybe most of us like to quit our job if we could. We incessantly dream about it, but that’s about as far as we get-dreaming. Having a 9-5 work just seems inescapable. I, Timothy Ward, however am a master at defying the unavoidable. I gaze ‘The Inevitable’ right in the face and call him dirty names. I say, if you want to stop working, QUIT YOUR JOB; I’ll even give you 5 reasons why you should.

1. If you leave your job you’ll have plenty of time to reading my articles, columns, and lists. This will enable me to become a household name down at the Unemployment and Welfare offices. My famousness is a simple price in achieving your dreams. You’ll think of this when you see me on TV shows today.

2. There’s a great feeling in quitting your job. For about 10 minutes you’ll be on cloud nine, you’ll on the top of the world, you’ll have a good life, you’ll be: -insert your own cliche here-. Then you’ll start worrying about the mortgage, school tuition, groceries, and and how you’re going to pay the amount you owe to other companies. All this will bring depression up to the extent of attempting suicide, but at least you had 10 minutes of freedom.

3. Daytime TV shows is considered the most breathtaking and fascinating television around. You’ll inquire how you ever survived without all those soap operas, movies, talk shows, reality shows, and judge shows where you suspect that the judge has beed paid. When you combine this with all the informative advertisements that air during the day that will ‘Show you how to make $1,000 a day stuffing envelopes, ‘Teach you to drive a tractor trailer in 4 days’, ‘Allow you to get a degree from home’ in such exciting fields as GED preparation and septic tank scrubber’ and you’ll not just think why you didn’t leave your job sooner, you’ll promise not to get a job again.

4. In your formerly employed state you missed all those important calls from collection agencies and other bill collectors. Now that you have quit your job you’ll be able to sit at home in eager anticipation of these oh-so-important calls. Toss in a few telemarketers, calls from various associations begging for donations, and a few of those computers that call you and ask you to ‘Hold for an important message’ and you’ll have a full day of just answering the phone. It will be like having a full-time job all over again, without all the hassle of getting a paycheck.

5. Drawing yourself to get out of bed every morning at 5:30 in the morning doesn’t help your body. Your physician will be happy to know that you care enough for your body to go as far as quitting your job. He will not, however, see you as a patient anymore since you don’t have health insurance. But there’s no need to worry, after all that’s why we have free clinics. Sitting all day in a damp clinic waiting room next to young teenagers with stage 3 Chlamydia is is another wonderful experience you will surely miss if you had kept your day job.

There you have it. 5 raesons why you should go out and resign from your job. Have a free feeling to say these to your employer when you turn in your two weeks notice. If she asks where you came across such valuable information tell her that a unselfish friend gave them to you free of charge, and all I wanted in return was that you think of me when you get your septic tank scrubbed next time…

No related posts.